


One of Six

by supersleepygoat



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, F/M, Implied Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 21:21:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17009436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supersleepygoat/pseuds/supersleepygoat
Summary: You are one of Negan’s wives. You married him for love. But, you soon realize he may not feel the same way. When you confront him about it, you get a rude awakening.





	One of Six

You lay in a tangled and sweaty mess of limbs. You weren’t certain which limb belonged to who or whose wetness soaked the sheets beneath you. The only thing you were certain of is that you loved the aftermath almost as much as the actual act. Negan was nipping at your shoulder with lazy effort. You raked your fingers through his disheveled hair. You like when it’s slicked back, but messy sex hair will always be your favourite look on him.

His arms tighten around you and you know that is your cue to settle down and get some rest. You are in the midst of being lulled to sleep by the soft rise and fall of his chest when he interrupts your contended daze. He told you he was thinking about bringing a new wife into the fold. He said it so casually. It was as if he was telling you he was thinking about adding chocolate chips to his pancakes the next morning. 

He didn’t understand why you got so upset. He would never understand. 

He told you his decision was, “None of your fucking business.” He said, “You are merely one of five wives. And, soon to be one of six.” He wasn’t asking for your permission.

His words cut through you. And, it only got worse. He said, “I don’t need this shit,” before pushing you out of bed and throwing your clothes at you. To him, your place as a wife meant you were to be seen and not heard, fucked but never loved. That was the arrangement he had with all his wives. You were just naive enough to believe things were different between you two. 

You would talk, really talk. You knew more about him than anyone else at the sanctuary, let alone the other wives. He let you into his private mind, or so you thought. You thought you had the type of relationship in which you could be honest with him. But, after you raised concerns about yet another wife, he reminded you of your place. He stepped on your rose-coloured glasses and cracked the lenses so you were left with the dim reality. You are merely one of five. 

You left his room that night but willed yourself not to cry. Negan was feared among the living as a brutal and violent man. But, you knew all too well that his words are just as effective as his precious bat in splitting you open and leaving you broken and waiting for death. It wasn’t the first time his words had hurt you, and you figured it wouldn’t be the last. You thought he would find you the next night and mend fences, as was the typical pattern when his words fell out of line. All would be forgiven, but nothing was ever forgotten. 

That fight was three weeks ago. He hasn’t come for you since. Every night he comes into the lounge and takes a different wife back to his bed, never you. For three weeks, he hasn’t so much as glanced in your direction. He hasn’t tried to work things out or talk to you about it. It was so easy for him to cut you out of his life. Every night you spend without him is darker than the last. But, for him, his nights are never lonely and never quiet.  

But last night when you saw the new girl being fitted for her little black dress, you hit your breaking point. You finally realized you are now one of six. 

You don’t have a problem with the other wives, you even like most of them. You respect that they are each doing what they need to do to survive. So, you know in the grand scheme of things, one more wife won’t make any difference in your already crowded harem. You just have a hard time wrapping your mind around the fact that one night Negan is trying to get you pregnant. Then, the next night he is telling you that he wants someone new. Which translates to: you are not enough for him. 

That is the wound that cuts the deepest. 

So, your problem isn’t with the new girl. Your problem is with Negan and his insatiable need for the ultimate power symbol: willing women. If all you are to him is a symbol of his status, then you need to know because the mixed signals are driving you insane. Besides, if that’s all you are then that’s not enough for  _ you _ . You may have been thrown into a new world in which survival is the utmost priority. However, you still find yourself clinging to the traditions of the old world. You still believe in love. And, you have found it. You know it’s stupid falling for a man like Negan but it just happened. There was nothing you could do to stop it. He said he felt the same way but if that were true, why does he need someone new?

You sit on the steps outside the Sanctuary. Negan is out on a run and you are waiting for him to return. You are going to force him to talk to you, whether he likes it or not. You need answers. You need to know where you stand. 

When Negan’s convoy enters the gate, you spring from your seat. You have been psyching yourself up all morning. It’s now or never. 

You make your way over to Negan’s truck that is parked by the gate. You let him bark orders to his men before you interrupt him. When he turns around to look down at you, his scowl does not fade.  If you had a clear mind, you should have noticed Lucile is covered in red goo. You also would have noticed that Negan’s hardened eyes need no provocation. Unfortunately, you were blinded by your mission. You failed to notice the cues that would have told you to back down. 

“What the fuck do you want?” is his long-awaited greeting. 

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“Not now. Go back to your room and wait for me there. I’ll come when I have time.” 

“Will you?” the question slips off your lips without missing a beat. 

“Excuse me?” His voice hardens. If you didn’t know better you’d say he was almost threatening you to continue. 

“Will you actually come? You’ve been avoiding me and I -” 

Negan laughs. “Is that what you think I’ve been doing? Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I just didn’t want to see you? I don’t have time to play games, princess. I wasn’t avoiding you. If I wasn’t coming to knock on your door then it’s probably because I got sick of you and wanted to play with my other toys.” 

You recoil at his words. You’re not sure how to respond. If you were alone in your room you would give him a piece of your mind. But, you know better than to challenge him in front of his men. For everyone’s safety, they need to believe that he is in control. You are just now noticing the red flags that this is a bad time. You decide to abort your mission. 

You bite your lip to either stop yourself from speaking your mind or to stop yourself from crying, you’re not sure which. “Oh, okay. I’ll just wait for you back at the room and we’ll talk about this later.” You go to turn back toward the building when Negan grabs your upper arm. 

“You wanted to talk about this now. So, let’s talk,” he lets you go and raises his hands in an open gesture before slapping his arms down to his side.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have -”

“Damn right you shouldn’t have,” he growls lowly at you as he steps in closer. “All the other wives have gotten in line. Why is it so hard for you to do the same? Oh, I get it,” he gives you a toothy grin. The sudden shift in is demeanor is jarring. But, you can tell by the anger in his eyes that he is anything but as jovial as his new tone suggests. “Are you trying to make Daddy mad?” Your eyes snap up to him in shock. You hear snickering from the men behind Negan. Your cheeks flush with utter embarrassment. He promised he wouldn’t bring  _ that up _ around other people. It was a private game you would play in the comfort of his bedroom only, or so you thought. “I know you like being Daddy’s bad little girl,” he continues. He reaches around you and slaps your ass harder than you expected and you stumble forward. 

You shove his shoulder back so he’ll move away from you. “Stop! What is wrong with you?” You try and keep your voice steady but it breaks on its own accord. “You promised you wouldn’t-”

“Oh, come on sweet cheeks! Don’t get shy on me now. Trust me, everyone here knows what a needy slut you are,” Negan winks at you. 

“You said you loved me,” you whisper so only he can hear you. You know full well just how pathetic you sound. But, before today you always trusted Negan to never tease you about your feelings. You thought he shared them with you. You look into his eyes searching for the man you knew. He must be buried so far under his façade because you only see his signature cruel smile. 

“Honey, I say what I need to say to keep you in line. Every wife needs a different tactic. Sherry needs to believe that she has some semblance of control over me. Most of them just need a good fuck. Then, they don’t have the capacity to think too deeply about the shit they let me do to them. The others just need a fuck load of alcohol. But you… you needed me to pretend that I actually loved you. You needed me to act like this was a real fucking relationship.” He scoffs. “And, not the business transaction that it is.” He laughs at you again.

“You’re lying!” You feel your hurt manifesting into anger. “You can say what you want but I know your lying. You can’t fake the things you’ve shared with me,” your own defiance is surprising even you. 

Negan’s demeanor switches back so he is mirroring your anger. “You tell yourself what you need to, sweetheart. But deep down we both know what you are. You are just a desperate and worthless little fuck toy who was dumb enough to look for love at the end of the world. I don’t need you here. Hell, I barely even want you here anymore.”

“So, what you want a  _ divorce _ ?” you emphasize the word to highlight the ridiculousness. 

“Don’t need one. You and I both know this sham of a marriage is a fucking joke. If I want you gone, all I gotta do is say the word.”

“You really think I’m that disposable?” you ask with hesitation. You don’t really want to hear his answer. 

“I know you are.” His voice is firm. He runs a frustrated and leather-clad hand down his face. “I have half a mind to throw you out on your ass. See what happens to ungrateful bitches who don’t know how good they fucking got it.” 

“You would do that? You would send me out there to die just because I wasn’t sleeping with you anymore?” you ask with disbelief. 

“If you ain’t spreading your pretty little legs then I have no use for you here. Either than cuming on demand, you don’t have any other marketable skills that I can use, kid.” Before you can stop yourself, you have slapped him and ultimately wiped the smug smile off his face. What it is replaced with is a look that that you have never seen before. It scares you. 

He throws his bat to the ground and uses both hands to grasp your shoulders. “The idea of letting you get torn apart out there is sounding better and better the more you push me, princess. Get the fuck out of my sight.” He punctuates his words by shoving you back and you stumble onto your butt. “Yeah, I think letting you go out there is a great fucking idea. You wouldn’t last a day.” He picks up Lucille and looks down at you before scoffing and striding away. The happy tune he starts whistling, tells you exactly how indifferent he is toward you. 

Once Negan is out of sight, two of his saviors come over to help you up. You look over your shoulder. Negan is gone. You brush the dirt off your dress and walk in the opposite direction from where Negan went, toward the gate. When you go to unlock it, Simon stops you. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, kid?” He asks while holding your arms down to stop you from trying to open the gate. 

“You heard him. You heard everything. I have to go. There is no place for me here anymore. He doesn’t want me here,” you whisper to your friend. 

Simon sighs to himself. “You and I both know he says and does things when he’s upset that he comes to regret later on, even if he’ll never admit it. He had a rough time on the run. We were ambushed and we lost people. Good people. You know how hard he takes that shit. You caught him at a bad time, what just happened has nothing to do with you. Give him time and he’ll come to his senses.”

“When have you ever known him to apologize and actually mean it? He wouldn’t have said those things unless a part of him believed it. I can’t keep living here like this. He said he wants me gone and I actually agree with him.”

You pull away from Simon’s grasp. “You heard the boss. He said to let her go. So, let her go,” Negan’s second in command order the gatekeepers. You hug Simon goodbye and he gives you a knife and a gun to protect yourself. You slip out of the gates and head toward the tree line. It is not until you are completely covered by the trees do you let the tears fall.

* * *

Negan shuffles down the hallway toward the lounge his wives are kept in. He had taken a long shower and a hearty helping of scotch to help him relax and clear his mind. He knew he had crossed a line the second the words left him mouth, the second he touched you in anger. But he wasn’t in the right headspace to acknowledge his wrong doing earlier. 

He knows he has some serious ass kissing to do to make it up to you. He had just watched six of his men be slaughter by bullets and teeth during the ambush. He knows that’s no excuse but you will understand. You always understand. He realized when he was in the shower that he always seems to take his frustrations out on you. You are always the one to get the brunt of his anger. You always bear the sharp sting of his words. You are also always the one he can actually laugh with and share his fears with. You have stood by him through it all. You are his safe place, a safe place to let it all out – the good and the bad. 

He hates himself for the things he said. It wasn’t even all true but he knew those words would hurt you. It was a lie to say he didn’t love you. It was a lie to claim you were a worthless piece of ass. But he knew it would hurt you. And when he is hurt, he likes to spread the pain around. 

It’s not the first time he has made you cry with his hateful words. But it is the first time he has ever put his hands on any woman, especially one he loved. The image of you on the ground staring up at him with unshed tears will haunt him for the rest of his life. He crossed a new line today. If you can’t forgive him, he will accept that. He will allow you to continue receiving the perks of being a wife even if you’re no longer together. He will always provide for you and give you everything you deserve. But, if you no longer want him, he will respect that. He’ll hate it. But, he’ll accept it for your sake. 

The very idea of never touching you or talking with you ever again sent Negan reeling. His split knuckles and a hole in the drywall signifies his fear of losing you. But he would keep his distance if that was what you wanted. As long as you are safe and happy, he could suck it up.

Despite his willingness to let you go if that’s what you need, he isn’t ready to give up yet. He takes a deep breath before swinging open the doors to the lounge. 

“Where is she?” he asks to anyone willing to answer. He looks around to see some of his wives are crying while the others look at him with disgust. “What the hell happened here?” he asks with little concern. He doesn’t have time to deal with this. He needs to find you and explain himself. 

Sherry gets up off the couch and drags him to the far corner of the room so no one else can hear. She needs him to be honest and she knows that won’t happen if the others are listening in. “What the hell did you do?” She asks not at all fearful of his possible response.

“I beg your fucking pardon?” Negan growls. His patience was already thin but now she is pushing him with this defiant tone.

“Y/N?”

Negan sighs. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m here. Where is she? Just bring her to me and I’ll straighten everything out,” Negan instructs his wife. 

“What are talking about?” 

“Did I fucking stutter? Hop to it wifey, I haven’t got all night!”

“She’s gone, Negan,” Sherry says slowly as if it’s something obvious he should have known. 

“Gone where? Where the fuck is she? Where the fuck is my wife?” Negan’s voice increases in volume with every question.

“She left. You told her to leave. We all know what you said, what you did,” Sherry pauses and shakes her head. “She’s gone, Negan.”

“The fuck she is. Quit dicking me around and bring her out here, now!” Negan demands while his eyes scan the room for you. 

“We heard it all from the guards that were on post when you got back from your run. You humiliated her. Pushed her. Then told her to leave. She apparently walked out of the gates only a few minutes after you left her in the dirt.” Sherry is intentionally saying these things to hurt Negan. She is trying to wake him up to the fact that his actions have consequences. 

“She wasn’t supposed to… I didn’t…” Negan stammers while pacing around where he stands. 

“How could you do that to her? She was the only one here for love.” Negan’s eyes snap up off the ground at Sherry’s words. “She loved you. The rest of us are here because you can provide security. Y/N was here for you and only you.” Sherry twists the knife a little further. There is nothing more painful than the truth. 

Negan levels her with a glare but doesn’t want to waste any more time. He storms out of the room and slams the door so hard behind him it comes off its hinges. 

* * *

It’s getting dark. You have been walking through the forest for hours. Since you left on such short notice, you are still wearing your short black dress and heels. Except, you took your heels off hours ago and have been walking barefoot in the cold dirt ever since. As the evening air bites at your bare arms, you start thinking Negan was probably right. Only an idiot would have left the compound without so much as grabbing a jacket first. Yes, Negan ordered you to leave. But, he didn’t say you couldn’t pack a blanket before you left. 

Every sound you hear between the trees sets you on edge. Every distant snarl makes your stomach drop. And, as your empty belly growls and your feet ache, you soon realize that this is the exact lesson he wanted you to learn. You’re dead without him. 

Weeks pass. You never stopped moving. You find just enough food to keep you on your feet. Not enough to make your muscles as agile as they were back at the Sanctuary. But enough to keep you going, for now anyway. 

You ditched your dress after you had to tear it in half to make a crappy tourniquet. You fell in the woods and cut your arm open on a broken branch. It needed stitches but the best you could do was to tape the wound shut. 

You haven’t used your gun yet. You still have all the bullets. You thought about using it once, but the target chickened out and couldn’t pull the trigger on herself. You always were a coward. 

For the past few nights you’ve been holed up in what used to be a library. Since books don’t aid in survival, the shelves are relatively untouched. It reminds you of what things looked like before everything went to shit. That’s why you had chosen to stay here. 

You spend your days walking down the deserted streets around the library. Only a few dead ones roam around but either than that, you’re alone. 

You follow the same routine every morning. You clear out the dead that start to accumulate in the back alley behind the library. If things go to shit, you want the back exit cleared. 

However, today was different. 

You hear someone calling for help from a few blocks away. On instinct, you rush toward the sound. You see a man fighting off a small group of walkers. You step in to help. Your knife slashes through the small crowd. Their boney fingers pry at your clothing but you’re both able to take them down easy enough, now that you have back up. 

You can see more are coming so you pull on his wrist and you both run in the opposite direction. You lead him back to the library. Once inside, he pushes a large shelf in front of the door, just in time before the dead came knocking. 

“My hero,” he jokes to mask his panting. 

You laugh, “I prefer to be called Y/N but hey… whatever floats your boat.”

“Cam,” the man greets you with an extended hand. 

“Here I thought pleasantries were dead,” you say as you shake his hand. 

“Haven’t you heard! What’s dead is coming back,” he quips. You roll your eyes at him but smile nonetheless. “You got a camp?”

“You’re looking at it,” you say as you gesture around the room. 

“Well, it’s charming. I love what you’ve done with the place. The musty old book smell really adds a kind of hominess you just can’t find anywhere else,” the strange man teases you. 

“You’re free to go find someplace a little less musty. Maybe one of those dead guys used to be a realtor?” you point toward the door that the dead are still scratching against. 

“Are you kidding, who doesn’t love a little must now and again?”

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” you gesture for him to follow you up a flight of stairs. He’s wary and you see his hand twitch over his gun with hesitation. You roll your eyes at him again but allow him to take whatever precaution he needs to feel safe. 

You lead him to the roof where the two of you can overlook the tiny sea of shops in the little county. You throw rocks over the edge and down the street to lead the dead ones away from your door. 

When the roof appears clear, Cam speaks up. “I have to ask you again, do you got a camp? Because I have a hard time believing it’s just you out here all on your own.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Because I’m girl you don’t think I can handle my shit?” you ask with bitterness as you put your hands on your hips. 

“No offence it’s just… well, you’re so trusting. You put your ass on the line for me, a complete stranger. Then, you take me in? I just have a hard time believing that if this is the way you operate then how haven’t you gotten yourself killed yet?”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t trust you?”

“No, hey! Me you can trust. But I’ve come across some not so nice folks since the end. Let’s just say, kindness can get you killed.”

“Well to be honest I am a little new to this type of survival. I did have a camp. Actually, it wasn’t a camp. It was a sanctuary. I was safe. But shit happened and here I am. You’re the first living person I’ve run into since I left. So, I’m learning as I go.”

“Why’d you leave if that place was such a safe haven?” he asks with genuine curiosity. 

“I was no longer welcome. I’m sure you know men can be a little over emotional when their women fail to fall in line.” Cam nods and gives a sad laugh of agreement. “Anyway, that place isn’t too far, only a couple days journey I think. When I first left, I walked in circles for a lot longer than I care to admit. So, we’re probably not as far away as I think we are. So, I can point you in their direction if you’d like. As long as you’re okay with taking orders and doing your part, you won’t have a problem there. They always need people, useful people. You’ll have food, clothes, a  _ shower _ ,” you emphasize the luxury of a shower in which you took for granted.

Cam contemplates his options for a moment. “Nah, I’m not one for large groups. Besides, I kinda like the view from here.”

* * *

You have been gone a month. Every day since you left, Negan has ordered his men to search you out. He demanded you be brought back alive as if by sheer force of will he can insure you are okay. He goes out to hunt with his men. He knows he has been neglecting his other leader-related-duties but doesn’t care. He lets Simon handle the day-to-day crap that usually drives him nuts anyway. 

Today, Negan is with a group to scavenge a town that is only thirty miles or so away from the Sanctuary. Usually this kind of run would be too menial for Negan. But lately, he’s been tagging along on all sorts of missions that will take him to places you may be hiding. Today, his micromanaging will pay off. 

Negan is overseeing his men rummage through an old pawn shop for any weapons that may have been left behind. Suddenly, one of his men who was keeping watch come crashing through the door.

“What the fuck has gotten you in such a tizzy?” Negan asks the out of breath man as he clutches his bat a little tighter. 

“We found her!” the lackey rushes out with a smile. He’s happy to be the one to tell Negan the good news, he thinks it will lead to favours in the future. 

Negan pushes past his informant. The man comes out of the shop behind Negan and gets his attention. “This way, but you have to be quite.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I have to do! Where is she?”

The man leads Negan to where a group of men are crouched behind a car. Their guns are drawn and pointed toward a hoard of walkers. The dead are banging on the doors of what looks like an old library. 

“I will ask one more time, and only more one time. Where. The. Fuck. Is. She?” Negan’s patience is running even thinner than usual lately. 

The man merely points to the roof of the building. You are standing on the edge looking down at the creatures below you. You are wearing a sports bra and shorts. That means, Negan can see just how malnourished you have become without him providing for you. He can see the outline of your ribs and your hip bones stick out more than ever before. He misses the fleshier version of you. He vows to get you back to normal as soon as your back home where you belong. 

Negan is about to call out to you but one of his more daring men pull him back. He motions toward the large group of walkers. A hoard that size requires more care when being dealt with. They cannot draw unwanted attention to themselves. 

“Fuck me,” Negan whispers as he runs a hand through his hair. “Here’s the plan. First, we have to-” but before Negan can finish spouting his orders, he hears you squeal. He looks up to see two long arms wrap around your waist and pull you from the edge. 

For a moment, pure rage fills Negan as he thinks someone is touching you without your permission. But then, a different kind of anger settles in his stomach.  Negan realizes that you are giggling and reciprocating the touch. He now realizes his knuckles are turning white over Lucile’s handle. Someone is touching you without  _ his permission _ . You are his. 

Negan abandons his well thought out plan and opts for a new one. Storming the gates. 

He knows his men will follow him into battle but doesn’t care one way or the other. He will get inside that building. He will get to you and take back what’s his. 

Lucile swings, knives plunge, and bullets fly into the walkers blocking the entrance. A few of Negan’s men create a distraction down the street to lure some of the dead away. Pure determination has made it so Negan is prying open the library doors within minutes. 

* * *

You can’t see who is fighting their way into your new home but you can hear the bullets and shouting. They must have serious fire power and it’s only a matter of time before the breach. 

“Stay up here! I’ll go and secure the door to the roof. Maybe they don’t know we’re up here. They’ll scavenge the library, take what they can find and move on.” Cam says as he releases you from his embrace. 

“I’ll go with you!” you say as you grasp his arm to stop him.

“No! You stay here. I’ll be back in a minute,” Cam kisses your forehead before sprinting inside. 

Cam goes to barricade the door but it is pushed open. He is too late. 

Negan smiles down at Cam. He drags him by the shirt collar out into the room. He pushes Cam to his knees. 

“Nice little set up you got here!” Negan coos politely. 

“Take whatever you want. No one needs to get hurt!”

“See, I thought so too. But as it turns out, you have taken something that belongs to me. And stealing?” Negan sucks in air through his teeth. “Well, that shit just doesn’t fly,” Negan raises his blunt weapon but before he can take his swing, Cam interrupts him.

“Wait! I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t take anything! But, I have something that I think you’re going to like! We can trade. I’ll give it to you in exchange for you letting me live,” the man pleads for his life. 

“Oh yeah, and what’s that? What would be sweeter than painting my dirty girl here with your blood?” Negan asks while stroking Lucile.

“I’ve got a girl! She’s upstairs, on the roof! She’s tighter than a virgin on her wedding night and comes like a freight train. I’ll give each of you a turn with her if you just let me go!” Cam thinks he is brokering for his life but he is actually signing his death warrant with each syllable. 

Negan smiles widely and throws Lucile over his shoulder. “You got yourself a deal!” The men around Negan shudder when Cam smiles and raises from his kneeling position. They all know what this guy has just gotten himself into. It won’t be pretty. 

Cam rushes out of the room and back up the stairs. 

“Radio the others. Tell them we’re going to be a little while longer,” Negan says with restrained calmness. 

The roof door swings open and you release the breath you had been holding. Cam comes barreling through the door seemingly unharmed. 

“I need you to come with me,” he says in a frantic tone. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask. Instead of a verbal reply, Cam grips your wrist and pulls you down the stairs. 

“I’m sorry,” is all he says before shoving you through the door. You trip over your feet at the sudden force of his touch and land on your side. You look up and notice a room full of men, familiar men. Your throat closes and stomach drops when you look over and see Negan leaning against one of the sacks. He’s just staring at you. “A deal is a deal. I delivered. Now it’s time for you to hold up your end of the bargain.”

You look back at Cam who refuses to look down at you. 

“You’re right.” Negan says with a smile. He seems to be fooling Cam but you know better than to trust that mischievous grin. “You gave up the girl. Offered her up on a silver platter just like you promised.” Negan gets up off the stack and saunters over to Cam. He puts an arm around his shoulder in a not-so-friendly kind of way. “The thing is, she’s not yours to barter with,” Negan informs the trapped man.

“You sold me out?” you ask with venom in your voice. You’re angrier with yourself for getting involved with yet another self-absorbed jackass. 

Cam stares at you dumbly as Negan’s grip over him tightens. One of the saviors steps forward to help you pick your stupefied limbs up off the ground.

“He did more than that, princess.” Negan finally addresses you directly. You freeze at the term of endearment. “He didn’t know we have a history. He was going to hand you over to a complete stranger just to save his own ass.” Negan pushes Cam to his knees. “You sure know how to pick ‘em.” Negan teases you before lifting his bat and cracking it over Cam’s head. 

You cry out at the sudden brutality. Despite hearing all the stories, you have never personally witnessed Lucile in action. 

“Stop!” you beg Negan when Cam’s skull cracks under the pressure of the bat and he start spitting up blood. 

“He was going to pass you around to every man in this room!” Negan’s voice booms in the quiet library. 

“Please stop,” you whisper as your unshed tears start cascading down your face. Despite what Cam was going to do, this is too much. 

Negan walks over to you and puts a finger under your chin. You refuse to look him in the eyes. But when Negan starts rubbing your cheek with his thumb, you instinctively meet his gaze. 

You each hold the other’s gaze for a silent moment. 

“I can’t just leave him like this,” Negan whispers. You look over his shoulder and see Cam flopping on the ground like a fish out of water. There is a mess of red on the carpet around his head. You squeeze your eyes shut and nod to Negan. At this point, it would be cruel not to end it. 

Negan takes his cue and returns to Cam. Lucile lands over her victim again and again and again. You lose track of how many hits Negan lands. The sound of each hit shifts from bones cracking to blood squelching. 

You bury your face into your hands and crumble to the floor. A few minutes later, two well-known arms wrap around you. You let yourself sink into the familiarity and bask in the comfort they provide. 

“Clear the exit and bring the car around. We’re going home,” the owner of your fleshy cocoon demands. The longer Negan holds you, the sooner the comfort of his touch fades. His embrace once felt like home. But now, it feels like your prison. Now that he has found you, you know he won’t let you go again. 

Old patterns will repeat themselves even if he promises to change. You will try to re-convince yourself that you love him. But, it is only a matter of time before he hurts you again. It’s only a matter of time before the memory of his promises fade and he treats you like you are nothing more than one of six.

  
  



End file.
